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4 Natural Boosters of Oxytocin, our Emotional Glue

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Can you imagine a workplace full of intelligent machines and robots but no warmth, no emotional bonding? This environment can be very productive but psychologically devastating. We are human beings, not human doings. We need to be emotionally connected with family, friends, coworkers, even with pets, to achieve mental, emotional and physical wellbeing.

When we hold hands with our loved one and have a feel-good sensation throughout our bodies – that’s the hormone oxytocin kicking in.

When we regularly distrust other people’s intentions and withdraw from them, it may signal a deficit of oxytocin.

What is oxytocin?             

Oxytocin is a hormone that is formed in the hypothalamus, a region of the brain important for controlling many bodily functions.

Without oxytocin, we would become extinct- literally; it is essential in human reproduction. Oxytocin is necessary for contraction of the womb during delivery, as well as breastfeeding.

Oxytocin is also important for our social wellbeing. It helps us bond with others and maintain eye contact with them, remember faces, show empathy, trust others, have a sense of self-worth and good social skills. We feel more connected and in tune with others.

Oxytocin improves our tolerance to pain and reduces stress and anxiety by controlling the release of cortisol, the stress hormone.

If we have low levels of oxytocin, we may be afraid, anxious, depressed, and aggressive toward others.

 

Oxytocin as a drug

Oxytocin, which means ‘quick birth’ in Greek, is used as the prescription drug Pitocin to induce labour and reduce bleeding after delivery.

Oxytocin has also been used to improve symptoms of Asperger syndrome, autism and schizophrenia. Additionally, it has been shown to help with withdrawal from alcohol and drugs.

These are 4 simple ways to naturally boost our oxytocin levels.

 

Physical and emotional love

Life is busy. With work, running errands, looking after kids, preparing supper… the list goes on, the last thing in your mind at the end of the day is to cuddle with your partner.

Oxytocin helps us stick together creating emotional bonds. A study conducted in men found that those who were given a dose of intranasal oxytocin were more interested in emotional instead of physical bonding when meeting for the first time an attractive woman.

What’s more, physical proximity with our loved one releases oxytocin. Studies show that oxytocin increases our sex drive. When we make love, we also feel less anxious, calmer, and have an improved sense of overall wellbeing, these are effects of oxytocin.

 

Mindful listening

Have you ever felt the weight of the world drop right off your shoulders after listening to soothing music? This is because our brains produce more oxytocin when we listen mindfully to a bird’s song, natural sounds or relaxing music.

Mindfulness meditation and mindful framing have been shown to increase serotonin levels with regular practice. Anyone can benefit from just a few minutes of self reflection in a quiet place, listening to silence or soothing sounds.

So, take a break, relax and listen to some classical, jazz or smooth music, whatever tunes you find soothing for your soul, and watch your cares melt away.

 

Body massage

Do you feel stiffness in your neck? A massage may be just what the doctor ordered! Research shows that oxytocin levels increase both in the person receiving the massage, as well as in the person giving the massage!

When you get a massage your anxiety level decreases, your sense of well-being improves, you feel less pain, and your cortisol and blood pressure level drop- all effects of oxytocin.

So, go ahead and treat yourself to a massage, even a self massage- you deserve it!

 

Pets

Dogs have been called man’s best friend for a reason- they provide us with unconditional love, and don’t take much to please!

Having a pet at home makes us feel less lonely, forces us to leave the couch, and even helps us develop relationships with others, all factors that lead to emotional wellbeing. It’s no wonder that so many people talk about dogs and cats as if they were real people!

Did you know that petting a dog releases oxytocin? It also boosts dopamine and serotonin- other feel-good hormones, while decreasing stress-producing cortisol.

 

Life is too short to live in fear and distrust. By naturally boosting our oxytocin levels, we can feel a deeper connection with others and increase of sense of self worth. Take a first step today and follow the path to more meaningful, deeper relationships.

Leadership = Awareness + Empathy

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A true leader goes beyond the daily routine and takes a step back thinking about the consequences of every human interaction.

When you share ideas, proposals, or concerns, are you aware of their emotional impact on your team?

If you keep your thoughts to yourself, do you realize that they can take a toll on your own emotional balance?

Leaders want to be heard and valued, want to promote an atmosphere of positivity and productivity. This can be achieved more easily through self-awareness and empathy.

Leaders who are empathetic earn the trust of employees, who in turn are more productive. The right approach to empathy can go a very long way in promoting positivity at work.

 

What is empathy?

According to Gustavo Razzetti, author of Stretch for Change, there are two kinds of empathy: Emotional and Cognitive.

  1. Emotional Empathy is activated by mirror neurons, which allow us to feel another person’s feelings in a passive manner.
  1. Cognitive Empathy is also known as ‘perspective taking,’ when we are aware of your own insights and make an effort to understand others.

 

In the early 1990s, neuroscientists discovered that we have specific brain cells that become active when someone else is suffering. In essence, we can feel someone’s pain and move toward a closer understanding of them.

Of course, as a leader, it’s imperative that you understand where an employee is coming from on a topic without being triggered into an emotional response or unhelpful decision. Maintaining a clear, yet compassionate approach can be better achieved with Cognitive Empathy.

 

How can empathy help you be a more effective leader?

A skill that can be worked on and finely tuned with practice, Cognitive Empathy is invaluable for organizations because it:

Builds Team Culture. Making an effort to understand how someone thinks, behaves, and feels can offer you essential insights and allow your co-workers or employees to feel valued.

 

Diversifies Thinking. Not only does empathy create a feeling of connection among peers, but taking the time to understand someone else’s perspective increases diversity and convergence of ideas, explains Razzetti.

 

Impacts Communication. In her recent article, Prudy Gourguechon, Psychiatrist and Psychoanalyst, explains that empathy allows you to understand if you have fully reached and connected with those around you.

 

Inspires Loyalty. With empathy as a regularly used tool in your leadership belt, you can build your team, inspire followers, nurture leadership in others, and elicit loyalty, notes Gourguechon

 

What if you’re not naturally empathetic? 

Empathy is an innate trait that’s in all of us; however, like anything else, it runs on a spectrum of weak to strong.

If you’re not naturally inclined to empathy, you can still harness its power through a few simple tactics:

 

Think before you act. For instance, if an employee needs time off during a busy peak, before you say ‘no,’ take a moment to consider what your decision will mean to the person.

You don’t need to say ‘yes’ if the answer should be ‘no.’ But showing you understand where the person is coming from goes a long way in keeping up morale.

 

Practice mindfulness or seek advice. If you’re not strong in the empathy department, you don’t need to change who you are. First of all, being aware of it allows you to fill in the gap with someone who compliments your weakness, notes Gourguechon.

 

Can you be too empathetic?

Imagine spending your whole day feeling the ups and downs of everyone around you. Sound fun? Not at all.

Being highly empathetic is a superpower in so many ways, but it can also hinder your ability to function as a leader if you’re pulled in too many directions.

Perhaps you’re managing a small team of recruiters who often have disputes with one another. As the team leader, you want to keep your eye on the goals, so that you can make deadlines and expand your recruitment services.

If you spend every afternoon feeling emotionally charged thoughts unrelated to the big picture goals, then your vision and effectiveness as a leader become muddied. Of course, it’s imperative to explore workplace disputes and aim to resolve them, but it’s also your job to keep a compassionate, yet targeted eye on the prize.

 

With the right amount of awareness and insight, you can feel out another’s perspective and understand the social and emotional landscape of your work environment. Use empathy to create well-informed decisions, to inspire loyalty, and to communicate as clearly as possible.

 

Stress-free Leaders Do 5 Things Every Day

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Have you ever seen yourself as a leader, the boss of your life? Wouldn’t be great to coast stress-free through your personal, family and work responsibilities and goals?

Those who lead successfully their life and businesses rarely display stress despite everyday challenges and overwhelming agendas.

To become a truly effective leader with the right mindset, learn and practice how to control your time, actions and spaces.

 

 

Focus on one thing at a time

How can you efficiently concentrate on something when your phone is vibrating, and your e-mails are stockpiling?

The key is time blocking. To time block, you section your day into segments of activities. For instance, just between 8-9 am and 4-5 pm you might answer e-mails (then leave them untouched for the rest of the day).

This simple approach will substantially increase your available time for focused work without continually shifting gears, keeping you and your goals on track. Tomorrow will come, and the remaining messages will be answered.

Some benefits of time blocking include:

  • Increased focus on tasks
  • Balanced workload
  • Task prioritization
  • Bolstered sense of accomplishment

 

Work at your peak energy hours

Many people nowadays are able to have flexible work hours. If freedom of time is your case, it’s worth noting whether you are more productive in the morning, afternoon or evening.

Some people thrive when they dig in first thing upon rising. However, some may prefer to enjoy a workout, relaxed coffee, and breakfast with their family before answering calls and handle requests.

Be mindful of your life’s overall values and when you accomplish at your best.

 

Create and maintain boundaries

When you head home at the end of a long workday, it can be all too easy to stay in overdrive. Instead of indulging in a movie with your kids and being in the moment, you might be tempted to start worrying and acting on your to-do list.

See yourself as a leader who needs to get things done but with the ability to define when, where and with whom to accomplish them. Create boundaries for yourself and others, not just for focused work but also for well-deserved downtime. Often, if someone knows that you are not available after a specific time of day, respect for your boundaries will be formed.

When the space and time of everyone are acknowledged, teamwork and creativity improve. Some problems require solo work, while other tasks can only be achieved through cooperation and convergence of the minds. Let’s be surprised when closing and opening these gates of creativity.

 

Avoid wasting time

We want to please others, to help others, to work in teams, but we waste precious time without a well-defined purpose when meeting with someone to accomplish a task.

Have you ever sat through a meeting while you know that you would be more productive if you could get back to your desk?

Meetings are the prime example of a time-wasting activity. Meetings are helpful when there is a powerfully clear agenda with an eagle-eye focus on targets. But in reality, meetings can often pull people off track with conflicting agendas, either behind the scenes or in the open.

If you do have a meeting, do your best to keep it short and sweet. In essence, you want to get in, express crucial points, get feedback and decide next steps.

 

Say ‘no’ often

“The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say ‘no’ to almost everything.”  Warren Buffet

See yourself as a leader, a natural born achiever. But control your desire to be everywhere and everything to everyone because it will not help you attain quality leadership.

Remember, it’s okay to opt out.  American hedge fund manager, James Altucher, gave this golden piece of advice, “If something is not a ‘Hell Yeah!’ then it’s a no.”

Give yourself permission to prioritize and stick to only that which will serve you best. Keep in mind, you can only give and be productive if your energy is not depleted.

 

Only if you are in control of your life you will be able to avoid unnecessary stress. A highly effective leader values time, defines boundaries and acts when the iron’s hot. Keep your mind sharp and focused but find time to go home and discover the smoothness and refreshing feeling of a cool iron.

Integrating, instead of balancing, your work and life

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You hear it all the time – to be happier and more productive you should balance your work and life. But in practical terms, what does this mean?

Take a moment to picture an average day in your work and personal life. Let’s imagine you are a parent who works from 9-5 and still manages to find time for healthy meals and downtime with your children. Work and life seem to be clearly separated by the time allocated to each activity. Right?

Wrong. Interconnectivity and the way our brains are wired make this separation impossible. This parent cannot simply forget the kids from 9-5 or ignore work responsibilities after 5.

 

 

For many, a thriving career serves as a powerful motivating force that provides life’s meaning through goals and satisfaction. For others, work provides the means to pursue personal goals.

There is a middle ground. Rather than striving to separate work and life, an effort that can lead to anxiety and stress, why not weaving them together? Follow these 3 rules for a seamless work-life integration.

 

Reconsider your occupation

It’s a given that no matter what’s your profession, there will be always be pros and cons for your chosen career, ups and downs in your workplace.

Wouldn’t be amazing if most people could enjoy the profession they chose and their current workplace? Moreover, wouldn’t it be nice to feel a natural inclination or urge to complete the tasks at hand – instead of dreading every assignment.

Start by taking a look at your profession and career path to see if it feeds and nourishes your passion for excelling and expanding. Let’s imagine you work in a publishing house as a staff writer, if you love your work you may be naturally inclined to wake up and write.

On the other hand, you may hate sitting in front of a white screen ready to write a new piece. This doesn’t mean you need to start thinking about a career change, just take some time to evaluate what your honest heart’s desires and potentially refocus towards a new path.

With renewed motivation, you can certainly begin writing and publishing daily. Small steps everyday go a long way when changing the course of your career’s direction.

When you are satisfied with what you do, it’s a joyful process to incorporate work into your life with ease.

 

Realize that it’s okay to love what you do

At times, we feel an urge to work in an exciting project in our personal time, even sacrificing a well-deserved weekend or vacation time. We need breaks, but we also need to feed our desires to excel and achieve. Sometimes you will feel a strong momentum and sense a powerful life force that requires our full attention and effort. Go for it!

There are also times when our personal life should be a priority. For instance when a family member needs support or we need to take care of our health.

Integration means not feeling guilty when answering emails late at night and tying up loose ends from work after spending a time with your family or unwinding. These few minutes will make your next day more streamlined and efficient. It’s okay to work your job into your home life and to consider personal matters while at work.

 

Modulate your energy  

It takes a lot of effort and stress trying to draw a distinct line in the sand between work and life. The two mingle together often, so rather than creating unrealistic expectations, why not finding ways to recharge your energy throughout your day?

Every single one of us has energy spikes, dips, and times when we coast. It’s entirely fine to feel down and without motivation. It will pass.

Being aware of our energetic mood helps us to realize where we are at emotionally, physically and mentally.

In an article from McKinsey & Co, Gila Vadnai-Tolub explains that we have different energy modes: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Each type of energy offers us a unique form of fulfillment, but we can’t expect to be highly functioning for all of them every moment.

It’s okay to realize that during work, you might need a moment to watch a fun YouTube video so your brain relaxes. And at home, your may want to spend time thinking on a new project from work.

Being aware of what we need in each moment to achieve emotional and energetic satisfaction helps us to meld both work and life together.

Vadnai-Tolub suggest 3 approaches to leverage our energy levels:

  1. Allow yourself the time and space to not always be in high energy mode. It’s okay and desirable to find time to slow down and relax. Be lazy some times!

 

  1. Choose to see the good. Remain attentive toward what is going right in your life and work. We all have room for improvement. Take it with a grain of salt, improve when you can, and keep moving toward goals with optimism.

 

  1. Boost your energy. If you work at a desk all day, maybe you can go outside during lunch hour and appreciate the fresh air, even dedicating some time to thinking or resolving personal matters. Also, you can find moments of inspiration by letting your mind wander towards what you appreciate and love in life.

 

Life doesn’t have to be cut and dry. Our modern lives call for modern solutions. This may mean that it’s time to stop trying to draw lines and create compartments in our lives. Let’s discover what we love to do… and do it!

6 Essential Hacks of the Creative and Productive Leader

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Do you feel as though life moves too fast? If you sense your to-do list nipping at your heels, you’re not alone.

It can be all too easy to be swept into the momentum of day-to-day affairs and no longer feel in charge. But there is hope. Let’s discover the 6 essential drivers behind the mindset of the leaders in creativity and productivity.

Be Aware

Countless peer-reviewed studies, notable authors and teachings of ancient cultures show that being mindful and aware of stressful thoughts and situations is a key element of a creative and productive life.

In 2017, the American Psychological Association, conducted a stress survey and found that the most common stressors for Americans were politics, money, and work. Identifying the internal and external drivers of your stress is essential to achieve mental, emotional and physical wellbeing.

Mindfulness may not be a magic pill that will optimize your life in one go, but with time and a self-reflecting and mindful lifestyle, you can alter essential traits of your personality.

 

Be Contextual

Life is complicated. We live in an interconnected and rapid changing world. When assessing any thought or experience, we ought to take into account the social, cultural and political context. Context means to take a step back and observe ourselves and our surroundings within our environment, such as our mood swings, workplace or family dynamics.

Not an easy proposition, but seeing things in perspective is an indisputably vital way to tame our thoughts and inspire calmness. Our modern era calls for a different mindset not necessarily relevant just a few decades ago.

To gain this situational perspective, we require a mental framework that we can carry with us at all times – a practical way to see ourselves in third person. One approach is mindful framing, where you visualize being the director, producer and screenwriter of your own life. Rather than be pulled waist deep into the mud of anxiety, you can use your mind’s eye to see yourself in a movie set, in the context of your own thoughts and environment.

 

Be Here for Yourself

Whether you choose to day dream, be creative, be mindful, socialize, work or relax, one thing remains the same: You.

Ensure in every moment that You are in charge, not a marionette or mindless robot. You should invest quality time in self-reflection. Find solitude by skipping passive activities, such as watching shows, scrolling news feeds, and overindulging in social media.

Spend time with yourself, in silence, doing ‘nothing.’ Be careful though, your mind will try to take over and lead you into stressful thoughts, avoid them by being aware and assessing the context of the moment. Over time your mind will start delivering creative ideas and a sense of calmness essential to cope with every day’s life challenges.

 

Be There for Others

Often, we believe the more we do for others, the better. We may even connect what we do to our inherent social value. Sadly, the endless strive towards mastering superficial engagements creates frustration and confusion.

Just being there, open and available to others provides immense support. People notice within seconds our social status and essential cues about our attitude. Let’s just be authentic, be in the moment and show empathy.

Take a new job, for instance. At the beginning of your new role, you will inevitably struggle to keep up with all the different tasks. You could spend all day answering every email that enters your inbox, or you could spend time learning about the company’s culture. Identify how individuals and teams, their personalities and networks are driving work streams.

Instead of barely skimming through a ton of superficial engagements, you can be more effective by focusing on a few in-depth interactions.

 

Be in a Flow State

Given a choice, would you prefer to receive electric shock therapy, or be alone with your thoughts?

It might sound like a silly question. But a study conducted at the University of Virginia discovered that participants would rather subject themselves to electric shocks than dealing with their minds.

When we eliminate distractions and allocate time to a focused task, either work or leisure, time passes much faster and we are much more productive. We are in a flow state.

In his best-selling book Flow, the psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi observed that to achieve a flow state requires the five C’s of the flow mindset:

  • Clear goals
  • Centered on the task at hand
  • Choosing the right opportunities
  • Commitment
  • Challenging yourself

 

Be Stress Free

It might seem natural to avoid stress by distracting ourselves with work, leisure and digital or social engagements than face our thoughts. And in some ways, it’s not our fault. There tends to be a culture of productivity and hyperactivity that tells us to avoid boredom at all costs.

We may even feel that doing nothing is lazy and unproductive. But nothing is further from the truth.

Ever notice how you feel more clear headed after a vacation? Well, our brains need vacations daily, not just a few weeks out of the year. Manfred Kets De Vries, an INSEAD Professor of Leadership, explains that allowing the brain ‘downtime,’ enables us to improve our mental health, incubate new ideas and reduce stress.

Our world moves at lightning speed, and in some ways, there’s nothing wrong with a healthy dose of fast-paced drive. But having a mindset able to allocate downtime throughout the day while keeping productive bursts of energy generates better results than steady pressure at work.

 

By learning and practicing how to deploy these 6 mindset drivers you train your mind to relax and clarify your thought processes. You are entering a new mental space; you are becoming the fearless leader of your mind.

4 Infallible Ways to Handle Anxiety at Work

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Have you ever spent a day feeling completely scared at work, but you’re not sure why?

We all experience anxiety at work from time to time, but a heightened sense of fear that occurs daily and on an ongoing basis can have a highly uncomfortable impact in the workplace.

Linda Geddes, explains in New Scientist Magazine two different cases of anxiety:

The first case is about a man who withdrew from answering phone calls at work. He feared that his words would be incoherent, and he might mess up his sentences. This type of anxiety is driven by true insecurity and lack of practice speaking on the phone.

In the second case, a woman had such intense fear that she felt agitated and lightheaded every morning right after waking up. Her anxiety had her thoughts swinging in a pendulum between two choices: What accidents could happen while traveling to work? And, what horrible unplanned consequences might happen if she stayed at home? There is no rationale for these beliefs, there is an underlying anxiety that may require a therapeutic intervention.

Sound familiar? While you may not experience anxiety to the degree described in these examples, anxiety isn’t fun and can massively impact your work life.

 

Is anxiety always bad?

Believe it or not, anxiety does serve a purpose. In reasonable amounts, feeling the sensation of anxiety can alert you to danger and will keep you vigilant and aware, more productive at work.

But if you find that feeling anxiety influences and interferes with your day-to-day life, then you may be experiencing too much anxiety and should seek the help of a trusted medical professional, explains Nick Grey, Clinical Psychologist at King’s College in London.

 

What causes anxiety?

Maladaptive Beliefs. According to Grey, maladaptive beliefs can cause anxiety. They are beliefs that work against you and are not accurate representations of how a situation will pan out. For instance, let’s say you take a ride on a roller coaster; you may fear that your heart’s increased rate will cause a heart attack.

While a heart attack is a possibility for someone with a heart condition, for most, believing that you will have a heart attack is a maladaptive belief that hinders your ability to appreciate the moment.

 

Chronic Worrying. Maladaptive beliefs can spiral into chronic worrying about various events or activities for about six months, explains Grey. Two chronic worry examples caused by maladaptive beliefs might look something like:

  • Feeling you are responsible for everyone around you, all your colleagues.
  • Feeling that your responsibilities at work matter more than your health and emotional wellbeing.

 

With all of this in mind, what causes the symptoms of anxiety?

When severe unease takes over, you can feel as though there is no way out. And this debilitating fear is linked to the amygdala, an anatomical part of our brain.

Our amygdala has two main roles:

  • Processes emotions
  • Triggers the release of hormones and neurotransmitters responsible for our fight-flight-or-freeze responses

Imagine you are in a meeting and your boss opens the door and asks you to step out. Most people will feel some response in this situation. You could feel intrigued waiting for unforeseen news, or the sight of your boss could trigger a powerful fear.

You might be tempted to leave the meeting and confront your boss (fight). Or stay seated and tell your boss to wait until the meeting is over (freeze).

In either case, your body is receiving stimuli and signals from a place of stress.

Studies suggest that those with post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD, store fearful memories within the amygdala and can bring an exaggerated response to stimuli.

However, for a person who functions in an usual fashion, when fear arises, he or she can temper a learned response with new memories, explains Geddes.

 

How can you tackle anxiety?

Exercise. It turns out that going for a walk, biking, doing yoga, or any other physical activity that you enjoy can be extremely helpful in battling anxiety.

Have you ever felt emotionally ‘off’ and gone for a long walk through your favorite park?  You are sure to experience the calming effects from being in nature, breathing more deeply, and a general lift in mood.

When you exercise, the experience releases mood-boosting endorphins that help you feel happier. Concentrating on a physical activity removes your focus from fear and allows your mind to zero in on the task at hand.

Remember, you don’t need to start a new or expensive sport. Yes, surfing or joining a posh gym can help, but start with something that feels approachable and affordable.

 

Diet. A study led by Phil Burnet (at the University of Oxford) found that increasing fiber intake encouraged the growth of beneficial gut bacteria which helped people pay increased attention to positive messages on computers (and less to negative ones).

When the volunteers of the study woke in the morning, they had lower levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) in their blood.

The study showed that the volunteers experienced seemingly small, but significant effects on the underlying psychological conditions that contributed to anxiety, notes Burnet.

Between full-time jobs, maintaining various relationships, and balancing health, modern life has us busier than ever.

 

Therapies. Certain medications given to a person with severe anxiety (and under the care of a professional) can reduce the perceived threats in a person’s experiences.

Benzodiazepines, for example, includes medications such as Valium. These treatments can filter out unthreatening stimuli. However, it’s worth noting that benzodiazepines can be highly addictive and should be given and observed under the care of a doctor.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy tends to be the golden go-to standard in anxiety treatment because its focus is to address the hindrance caused by maladaptive beliefs.

Once someone’s maladaptive beliefs are determined, CBT seeks to challenge them so that fears can be overcome.

 

Self reflection. Spending a few minutes each day reviewing the triggers of your anxiety and focusing on the present moment through mindfulness or mindful framing, will serve several purposes:

  • Develop a framework to assess unexpected experiences and thoughts
  • Develop natural routines and habits that will impact your mental wellbeing
  • Develop emotional intelligence and empathy towards yourself and others
  • Develop a comprehensive approach towards physical wellbeing

 

If you suffer from anxiety, be brave and tackle your anxiety head on, seek help inside and outside. Your mind has the key to a top-notch hospital and fully stocked pharmacy with safe and efficacious solutions. Anxiety can be transformed into vital energy.